


Dead Man Walking

by sindumpling



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: And the reader being in love with somebody whos damaged, Angst, Bittersweet Ending, F/M, Grief/Mourning, I know the combination of the tags might imply this but this fic is NOT about necrophilia, Implied Sexual Content, Literally this is just sad people being sad, Love at First Sight, Memories, Post-Fall of Overwatch, Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-07
Updated: 2018-11-07
Packaged: 2019-08-20 01:37:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16546346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sindumpling/pseuds/sindumpling
Summary: It's hard to grieve when the person you're grieving for might not be dead. It's even harder when you're the only one who seems to need closure.





	Dead Man Walking

You wished you could’ve been there when Gabriel Reyes fell. You wished you could've thrown yourself in front whatever threat caused the incident at Swiss Headquarters. You wished you could’ve had the chance to hold him as he took in his last breath.

You wondered what his last words were and if he might’ve muttered your name before he passed. Realistically, he wouldn’t have. He’d always had trouble saying it. To him, you had just been “Cadet.” He called everybody else by name: Jesse, Moira, Genji. You, on the other hand, couldn’t coax your name out of him unless it was the dead of night, with the two of you tangled together under sheets with his skin searing into yours. 

Those nights, your name had always slipped past his lips in a hushed whisper or a muffled groan against the base of your throat. Those frantic moments where he was holding you, his voice carrying itself to you through the fog of your euphoria, were the moments that convinced you that your relationship with him was special. You had no idea how he’d managed to make your name sound like a plea, but it had always left you feeling hollow. 

You should’ve known back then that something was wrong. You’d assumed Gabriel was broken; you hadn’t realized he was damaged to the point of self-destruction, ready to blow everything you had with him to pieces.

You grimaced. “It wasn’t an accident, was it, McCree?”

“You know what the U.N. reports said. I’m sure you’ve been reading them over more than anybody else here.” McCree dropped his cigar into the snow, stuffing it out with his boot. His gaze was sharp as he eyed the dozens of funeral-goers, a sea of black clothes and grim expressions. “Can’t say there are too many people here that care as much about Reyes as they did about their paychecks.”

“You know just as well as I do that the U.N. is full of—”

“Now, you watch your mouth, little lady. This is a somber event.” McCree turned back to you, his face almost pitying. “Listen, I know you had a different relationship with Reyes than the rest of us. I’d have to be an idiot not to have noticed all the nights you went back to his quarters instead of your own. That’s beside the point, though. We’re all grieving, okay? There’s no need to dig up a body that isn’t there.”

“Exactly,” you interjected, “there wasn’t even a body! Maybe he survived the blast. He was spending a lot of time with Moira in the weeks leading up to the accident, so it’s possible they had this all planned out, right?”

“Sometimes, dead men are better left dead.” Genji stepped between you and McCree. The only person missing from your squad was Moira, who hadn’t been seen since the accident. “Even if he made it out of there alive, do you truly think that he’d the same person he was when you first joined blackwatch? Because I think the Gabriel Reyes you’re talking about died a long time ago.”

You were quiet for a moment. Your face was flushed; whether it was from the biting cold or the intensity of your emotional state, you didn’t know. Gabriel had changed in the past few months, that much you could admit, but he’d had the right to. Even when your nights with him transitioned from passionate to desperate, he was still himself. He was still your commander, your lover, and your Gabriel. “I love him regardless. You two should feel the same way.”

You hated the cautious looks on McCree and Genji’s faces, but you hated the glance they exchanged even more. The lack of grief they expressed was the worst thing about this situation. They’d known Gabriel even longer than you had, so the effects of his death should be hitting them just as hard. 

McCree caved, clearing his throat. “If we’re being honest,” he told you, his voice hushed, “Reyes almost definitely had this all planned out.”

You felt a soft sense of relief pulling at you after hearing him agree with your theory, but Genji could only offer McCree a warning glare. “We don’t need to be getting into this with her,” he said through the metal plating of his mask.

“Even she can guess that much. Ain’t no use denying it.” McCree was already taking out another cigar, lighting it as he spoke. “This is already difficult enough for everybody involved.”

Genji adjusted the cuffs of his suit, eyebrows furrowed in frustration as he turned his attention to you. “Alright, so what does it matter if Commander Reyes is alive? He didn’t tell us anything, and he hasn’t bothered to get into contact with any of us. If this was all part of his plan, he clearly doesn’t want us to be a part of it.”

“That’s not true . . .” You hugged your arms to your chest, wishing you’d worn a thicker coat. “If he really did make it out, I’m sure he wouldn’t leave us behind to pick up the pieces. I’m sure he’s just waiting for the right time.”

“Reyes doesn’t wait for anything.” McCree took off his hat and set it on your head melancholically. “And he sure as hell wouldn’t be waiting around for us.” The smoke from his cigar trailed behind him as he trudged away, turning his back to you and Genji. “Don’t kid yourself, darlin’. You’re just going to get hurt.”

Your frown deepened, and you felt your eyes begin to water as you took the cowboy hat in your hands. “Genji? You don’t agree with him, do you?”

For a few moments, he could only watch you wordlessly. When he finally spoke, the dull tone of his voice reminded of just how much he’d already lost. “Believing he’s dead is a better alternative, isn’t it? If he’s gone, it’s better that it be permanently.” He lingered, waiting for a response you didn’t have. “I think it’s time I get out of here.”

You wanted to ask where he was going—after all, none of you had Blackwatch to go back to—but the words wouldn’t come. You didn’t care about the fall of Blackwatch. The flurry of political controversy surrounding the organization you’d risked your life for didn’t phase you at all, because you’d known it the moment you’d laid eyes on Commander Gabriel Reyes: he was your reason for fighting, your reason for living, and if it ever came to it, he’d be your reason for dying.

You weren’t sure he orchestrated the incident at Swiss Headquarters, and you weren’t sure if he was still alive. You knew he wasn’t the same man you’d fallen in love with when you’d first joined Blackwatch, and you knew that there were irreparable parts of him that only grew more damaged as time went on. 

After everything, though, he was still Gabriel Reyes.

And you were still irreversibly in love with him.

**Author's Note:**

> Sometimes I hate what I write but keep writing anyway :')


End file.
